<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Captains Log by Rosypie3</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24657535">Captains Log</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosypie3/pseuds/Rosypie3'>Rosypie3</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Steven Universe (Cartoon), steven universe future - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Character Study, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Immortal Lars, Lars POV, Lars has some thoughts, Minor Character Death, Pink Lars Barriga, lars centric, no beta we die like men, or Lars ages really slowly, this fic is just sadness</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 04:07:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,277</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24657535</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosypie3/pseuds/Rosypie3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Everybody dies, but nobody tells you what to do if you come back.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Crystal Gems &amp; Steven Universe, Lars Barriga &amp; Sadie Miller, Lars and the cool kids</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Log 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>If you’re reading this, congratulations! You found the Captain's Log (me I’m the captain). Anyways my name is Lars Barriga, a 16 year old Earthling. I am the Captain of the Offcolors, a rebel group against the gem planet Homeworld. </p><p>It wasn’t always this way, I used to be a normal boy in a normal, but weird, town called Beach City. That all changed when I got kidnapped by aliens and long story short, I died. Thankfully Steven was able to revive me...but now I’m pink?? And apparently I don’t get hungry anymore and my heart rate is really slow?? It’s weird. Moving on Steven escaped through the portal in my hair (Jesus that’s weird to think about), and now me and the Offcolors managed to hijack a ship and are setting our course towards Earth. Although getting to Earth will take a while. I hope my parents aren’t too worried about me. </p><p>Oh yeah, Steven gave me this journal and pen to use. Because of the portal in my hair, Steven said he could deliver letters to my parents but what do I even say to them? “Hey mom and dad, it’s your son Lars! I’m pink now because I died and Steven brought me back to life so now I think I age slower then regular humans. If I age at all that is!” Yeah. That would go over well. Just tell my parents that I will probably outlive them and everyone I love. I know I won’t be totally alone. I'll have the Offcolors but it’s not the same. </p><p>I promised myself that I’d stop being a wuss but I’m scared. </p><p>I’m scared of what this possibly immortal future holds for me.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Log 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Okay so it’s been a while, probably a few weeks now? Time is weird when you’re in space and there are no clocks. </p><p>There’s been a delay in getting back to Earth. I decided to help the rebellion more by stopping along the way to attack some homeworld factions. </p><p>It’s been difficult to adjust. This is my new normal now. The fights with the gem factions don’t even scare me, what’s the worst that could happen? I die? Too late on that one bud, already happened. I’m more scared of how it will be when I return to Earth. How my parents will react, my friends….Sadie. Oh God, Sadie. Our relationship was tedious at best but, this? This will break it. </p><p>Who would wanna date someone who will outlive them? </p><p>I should probably talk to someone about this but I’ve been trying to keep a positive attitude about all this. At least in front of Steven and the Offcolors. Steven because he’s helped enough and the Offcolors because they just wouldn’t understand. Gems don’t die from old age, only shattering and battles. They wouldn’t understand the feelings that come with knowing that you’re gonna outlive everyone you grew up with. Everyone on Earth possibly.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hope y’all enjoyed! Please comment if you liked it or not. </p><p>Dying and coming back is really getting to Lars huh?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Log 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A few more weeks have gone by, again. It’s hard to get time to myself nowadays. It’s not that we’ve been particularly busy, it’s just the same stuff as always, head towards Earth, stop to plan an attack, attack, continue on course and repeat. Don’t get me wrong it’s not boring or anything it’s just not the reason why I’m writing today. </p><p>Steven has kept his promise of writing and sending me letters from everyone back on Earth. It’s nice to hear from everyone, but I’m starting to wonder if I should just cut my losses now. Why get attached when I can easily distance myself now? </p><p>It’s getting harder and harder to respond to their letters. I don’t know how to respond in a friendly manner. I know I should be spending as much time with them as I can before it’s too late, but it’s so hard. I have to rewrite letters multiple times because of the tear stains. </p><p>It doesn’t help that Steven will sometimes just pop over to hang out. I don’t mind his company. It's just hard to listen to him tell me what everyone’s doing and how much they miss me. I don’t let it show, I just continue to joke and nod along continuing my all confident self. It’s just hard sometimes. </p><p>I feel like I’m mourning them when they’re not even dead yet.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>One more chapter guys! Please comment and kudo.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Log 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hey journel, it’s been a while. We’ve made it to Earth! </p><p>It was nice to see my parents again. There was lots of crying. I talked with Sadie and we’ve decided that we’re better as friends. That hurt, but it’s not like I haven’t been expecting it. Everything just feels slightly off, temporary but I’ll make it work. I will make something lasting here.</p><p>I have to. </p><p>%%%</p><p>It’s been a couple months since we made it to Earth and me and the Offcolors have really settled down. I’m opening up a bakery called Spacetries! I’m so excited for its opening day! </p><p>%%%</p><p>Spacetries finally opened and it was glorious. Everyone showed up. My parents, the cool kids, Sadie, Steven, the Offcolors, the gems and Ronaldo. </p><p>It was so nice seeing everyone, sitting around tables talking and laughing as they enjoyed my pastries, creating a warm atmosphere. </p><p>Watching all of this from behind the counter is the happiest I’ve been in a long time. </p><p>%%%</p><p>The shop is doing well. Business is kind of slow but I’m not doing this for the money anyway. </p><p>%%%</p><p>Steven turned 14 today. He’s grown taller. </p><p>This shouldn’t bother me as much as it does. </p><p>%%%</p><p>You know what journel it just occurred to me that I never graduated highschool. Never went to Senior prom, never got my diploma. </p><p>I could still pass for a high schooler if I wasn’t pink.</p><p>Heck this town is crazy enough to probably let me go back to school if I really wanted to. But what would be the point? </p><p>%%%</p><p>Before I knew it four years had passed. Four years. I didn’t notice, it was more subtle than I thought. I couldn’t look at myself for a reference because I didn’t change at all. I knew time was passing because Earth has clocks, unlike my ship, but it didn’t hit me just how much was slipping by. </p><p>Suddenly Sadie and the cool kids leave and create a band. Then come back and do their own things. Steven is 17 and the gems have opened a school called Little Homeworld. My parents hair got greyer and thinner, their faces got wrinklier and their joints got weaker. Where has the time gone? Where has it all gone?? </p><p>Soon my parents will wither away under the passage of time and I can’t deal with that. I can’t be there when that happens, standing at their funeral with my still 16 year old face and body, my face so fresh and young, untouched by time. I need to leave. I need to leave Earth now. I am not meant to inhabit this place. </p><p>%%%</p><p>It’s been a couple weeks. Me and the Offcolors are back to exploring the galaxy, taking down any rogue gems that believe in the old ways. Exploring new planets as we see fit. </p><p>%%%</p><p>Sadie sent me the letter a few weeks ago, they’re gone, passed away from natural causes. This might be selfish of me but I’m glad I wasn’t there to witness it. Glad I wasn’t forced to watch their slow descent to their graves, along with everyone else. </p><p>Whoever finds this journal and can read it, let this be a warning. Be glad you’re mortal. </p><p>Leave these written memories to be forgotten, just as I will be forgotten on Earth, eventually. </p><p>This is Captain Lars, signing off.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you all so much for reading! Please comment 🥺</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry for the angst, I’m evil I know. </p><p>Anyways this fandom needed more content for one of my favorite characters. Watching Lars grow was one of my favorite character arcs and still is. </p><p>Thought we needed to dive into his mind and explore the after math of his death.</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>